The feelings I can't comprehend
by Mirai.no.Kiseki
Summary: This is an adaptation of Chapter 424 and 425. * Warning!* Spoiler alert if you haven't read till this far of the manga. Follow behind the scenes of Fairy tail in both Natsu and Lucy's perspectives. What happens when Natsu finally decides to put his heart on display and confront Lucy about things he knows will hurt her. Might this give rise to them realizing something else?


Authors' musings:

First of all I want ask for forgiveness for the mistakes in punctuations . I just am too lazy to correct them. And I'm just an enthusiast not a writer.

I really really really love the pair Natsu and Lucy from Fairy Tail and so I decided to make a fanfic out of them. Well I wouldn't call it a fanfic since its more like my interpretation and adaptation of certain NaLu moments in the Manga. I know it's a bit random to put 2 perspectives both Natsu and Lucy but I just had to do it to show how they both feel.

Scene 1 is from chapter 424: AVATAR and scene 2 is from chapter 425: Sabertooth

I just thought it would be nice to put some emotions into play and spice things up a little :3 Its just me adding things between the lines example like the confrontation. This was never really happened or given any importance in the manga so I just had to make it happen!

 **Disclaimer: All Characters and certain dialogues belong to the rightful owner Hiro Mashima**

* * *

 _Scene 1: The confrontation_

It was still raining heavily outside. Lucy stood out at Juvia's sheltered backyard to wring her wet clothes dry when she heard footfalls. She turned to see Natsu walking towards her.

"Lucyy...I…." Natsu spoke into Lucy's ear as he tightly embraced her and rested his head on hers.

Lucy was too shocked to react to Natsu's sudden revelation. She had her head against his chest and could hear his heart beat. It felt as though it was trying to beat its way out of him. It took her some time to process what was going on and for the color to darken on her cheeks. What was Natsu trying to do? That wasn't like him.

"Natsu" Lucy looked up to meet his eyes which were suddenly the most captivating thing she had ever seen.

Up-close, she could see that they were ablaze with brilliant shades of amber and gold. Had she always thought that his eyes were attractive? Other than that, he started to look more of a man than a boy. His chin looked sharper and his jaws broader, his face no longer inclined to any childlike features. His grip on her felt tight and strong, reflecting the outcome of his year of training. However something was off about him, his signature grin wasn't there.

"What's the matter?" she uttered, completely flustered.

There was a long silence as Natsu's face hardened and conjured up a multitude of emotions as though he was fighting a war, internally.

"I'm sorry…" he finally began, "I'm sorry for everything… for leaving you behind, for not realizing your pain and loss, for not being there for you when you needed friends the most and most importantly... for being a terrible friend."

Lucy was taken aback by the sudden emotional downpour of words from his mouth, this was something foreign to Natsu, to express his feelings. Was he the same dense goofball Natsu that she thought she knew? Confronting people was the last thing Natsu did. Somehow instead of telling him it's okay and that she's alright now, her lips started quivering and the first of tears threatened to stream down her cheeks. It seemed as though he had easily triggered something in her that she had been suppressing for a very long time now. She reminisced all the loss, sorrow, depression and loneliness that had tormented her for the past year. A whirlpool of emotions sought to find lead in her heart. She brought her hands up to her face in attempt to conceal her emotions from Natsu but to no avail. Silvers of tears kept dropping like a broken tap, one after the other. But deep down, she knew that she shouldn't keep suppressing them and would have to let them out one day or another.

Natsu just watched her helplessly, equally tormented. He loosened his grip on her, hands slowly flailing to his sides in to tight fists. He absolutely hated to see her cry and it killed him inside to see her in that state but he had already anticipated this. He knew it was the right thing to do confronting her. It had to happen sooner or later. She had all the reasons to be mad, he expected her to lash at him, to hit him, to tell him to get lost but he definitely did not expect what she was about to say.

Lucy unveiled her hands to reveal a tear stricken face and a sad attempt of a smile.

"You have no reason to apologize Natsu…you did nothing wrong" she said extending her smile.

It was true, indeed she was angry at him for leaving her without saying a word of goodbye but he had his reasons and Lucy also felt that she was being selfish and unreasonable. After all, she was not the only one who lost someone precious to her, Natsu too lost his dad right after a long awaited reunion.

"I'm the one who should be sorry for being cold to you back in the house" she said.

"What's most important… is that you're here now" She smiled, a real one this time from the bottom of her heart.

Now it was Natsu's turn to be taken aback as Lucy wrapped her arms around his neck. She slowly brought one hand to his cheek while the other caressing his still wet hair.

"I missed you" She said, gazing him in the eyes sweetly.

Her palm felt soft and radiated with warmth. Natsu instinctually grabbed her wrist and knotted his fingers into hers, a gesture which seemed so foreign yet so right to him.

He had missed her too, more than he thought he would. He had asked himself why he felt as though something was amiss during his training journey. Now he had realized what it was.

"From now on, I'll ….always stay by your side", he said with resolution, "I promise".

With that Lucy let out a final tear, this time a happy one accompanied with a big grin. At whatever cost, he wanted to protect that smile of hers. Protect her.

Natsu had never associated girls with beauty before but this right there for the first time ever, Lucy was the most beautiful thing he ever saw and his heart skipped a beat or two when he saw the way she looked at him; kind and radiant almost like an angel.

He took everything about her in for the first time, her warm big brown eyes, her perfectly carved face framed with silky golden hair and her glowing skin. Any remaining regret and sadness was soon replaced with these new found feelings within him. It was as though a new undiscovered door of emotion within his heart opened, one that engulfed his heart in fire. He wondered why Lucy, his most treasured friend looked so different all of a sudden. How had he failed to notice it before?

"What are you guys doing?" an irritated scratchy voice belonging to a very sickly Juvia came from behind the window.

"How cruel of you guys to romance when Juvia is sick? Didn't I tell you all to get a room already?" she seethed, her eyebrows frowning in disapproval.

"Gray- sama" she then said sheepishly, entering her usual delusional trance.

"Juvia-san… please return back to bed already" Wendy called from inside which made Juvia snap out of her trance.

This made Lucy harshly break out of her own trance encircling Natsu as she felt self-conscious creep back into her for staring at Natsu this long and for the close proximity they were standing at. She noticed his expression had now softened and his full attention was devoted to her; eyes never leaving hers devoid of what Juvia said. His hand was still lingering on hers, as though he refused to let go of her again. She recalled the word 'romance' that Juvia mentioned and wondered if this was what it meant. This made Lucy blush uncontrollably as she realized how this may look like to others.

Embarrassed, she wriggled out her hand from his hand and distanced herself from him by moving back a step. She watched him as he stood there looking befuddled for a few brief seconds by her action.

Right then Happy, Wendy and Charle walked out the door to join them.

"Juvia- san has finally gone back to sleep" Wendy said, with a sigh of relief.

Apon hearing this Lucy observed as Natsu's expression became serious. Dead serious.

"Natsu…you're making a scary face" Happy said, deep concern lining his voice. The little blue feline looked perturbed.

"Lucy, Happy… We have to get going" Natsu said, seriousness lining his voice, "Wendy, please stay here and look after Juvia."

"What! To where?" Lucy asked, unsure of where this was going.

"Sabertooth…They might have a clue on Gray..."

* * *

 _Scene 2: The Journey to Sabertooth_

The ride to Sabertooth was a long and bumpy one on a wild boar. Since Natsu could'nt handle any form of transport vehicle, this was their last resort. Happy was flying a few feet behind, tailing them. Much to Lucy's surprise, Natsu handled it pretty well or even if he was feeling sick, he wasn't showing it. He even took hold of the rein and controlled the animal remarkably. He didn't speak through most of the journey. Lucy couldn't see his face but she knew he was feeling anxious. She had her hands wrapped around his abdomen and her head facing side on his back. His back felt safe and warm but it wasn't enough to melt her own worries.

The hotheaded bad mouthing Natsu she knew was replaced by someone more stoic and mature. Adding on to that, he was keeping something from her about Gray. Something about Natsu's uncanny seriousness made her feel even worse and anxious. Even though she had tonnes of questions she wanted him to answer, she hesitated.

The somber expression on her face soon dissipated as the magnificent town home to Sabertooth came into view. She lifted her head to get a better view of the town. Her mood instantly skyrocketed as she thought about reuniting with the Sabertooth members again, especially her fellow celestial spirit wizard Yukino whom she fought alongside with to seal the Eclipse gate.

"Natsu look! We are approaching Sabertooth! " Lucy said cheerfully.

Natsu remained quiet and didn't even turn to look around.

Lucy finally couldn't hold it down any longer so she asked him her burning question.

"Do you really think Sabertooth will have information on Gray?" she asked him.

He finally broke away from his silence and replied her, "I can't say for sure".

"What do you mean?" Lucy was losing her patience. She need to know answers fast, her heart could no longer take it.

Natsu suddenly shocked her for the second time that day by abruptly grabbing her arm to turn around and sit facing her. His sudden action caused them both to feel unsteady and lose their balance on the animal momentarily. Lucy felt herself slipping to the side a bit due to the incredible speed the boar was going at.

What was this idiot trying to do? Lucy fumed inside. Was it really necessary to face her and talk?

Natsu reached out and grabbed on to her wrists, steading her. She felt his grip on her hands tighten as though reassuring that he's not gonna let her fall.

"Natsu! What are you doing? Turn back! Watch the front!" Lucy shrieked as realized that the reins were unattended.

"Listen up Lucy…" be began silencing her, "I believe in Gray but this time I've got to stop believing in him in order to find him"

Nothing that he said made any sense to Lucy and that made her more frustrated, "I still don't get what you're saying!"

"Lucy…." He uttered her name as he leaned in on her so that their faces were mere inches apart. His hair was beating about wildly and got entangled in hers. He looked at her with eyes filled with determination and authority. Seeing his face this close again made a blush creep up her cheeks. She couldn't help as her heart started to race due to the intensity of his piercing eyes on hers. His hair kept falling on his face and Lucy had a sudden longing to brush the hair away from his eyes. She couldn't explain this longing or that feeling she felt right there. But every time he looked at her, it was harder to hold back that feeling.

"I will definitely bring Gray back….this I promise you," He continued, never taking his gaze off her, "so until then, don't ask me anything".

She looked away, embarrassed and unable to say anything. How could she possibly argue with someone who has this much of determination? All she could hope for was Gray to be alright and put her faith in Natsu's words.

When she looked back, she saw him reading her, trying to know what she was feeling. It made her feel uneasy.

"Eyes front fool!" she shouted when she noticed that the reins have been unattended way too long.

She pushed his face forcefully to make him turn front. But, it was also to divert him from her. She didn't want him to think that she was still uncertain. Countless times, if it weren't for him, Lucy would not even be alive.

"Owaaaahhh!" Natsu made a sound as he was roughly shoved in the face to turn by her.

He made a really funny expression that made her laugh; a cross between mortal fear and shock. That was the Natsu that she knew. She felt glad at the emergence of his goofball side because he was nothing like his usual self throughout that day. He grumpily proceeded to shift around.

* * *

After thoughts :

First ever fanfic ever! WHOO HOOO^O^ For years I have been wanting to make a fanfic but I've never had the guts to attempt to make one. It has finally come to that day where I have made a creation! *Happy tear*


End file.
